Things Will Never Be the Same
by Stephenie18
Summary: "How much of that did you hear, Vanessa?" Vanessa sighed heavily, her eyes darting to the ground in an attempt to find the right words. "Enough. But listen, Charity, we don't have to talk about it. It's not going to change..." she started, but Charity interrupted her. "Not going to change anything, Vanessa? You mean every time I look at you I won't see pity and sadness?"


Bails had done them dirty, just as Charity thought he would. He had strung poor Tracy along, roping her into his little scheme so deeply that Charity and Vanessa had almost not been able to pull her out of it. Charity had ended up telling Tracy just enough about what happened that she had come to her senses, but not until she was well and truly wrapped up in a mess of trouble.

Charity had been able to convince Cain, Rhona, Robert, Ross, Megan, and Frank to help her and Vanessa "take care of the issue." In other words, Tracy had convinced Bails that Rhona, Vanessa, and Megan had gone through what she had been through and wanted to meet him, ultimately leading him right into a trap where Robert, Ross, Charity, and Cain had waited with fists at the ready to teach Bails to stay in his lane and stay away from the Dales.

Bails had gotten under her skin, and had taunted her about her past. Her son, the son she had lost so long ago to the streets, the one that had barely lived before ceasing to, the one she wished she didn't have to remember, the one Bails always chose to hang over her head in tense situations, was flung out into the air like dirty laundry. It had hit Charity square in the chest, making her have to take a step back from the beating she and the boys were inflicting on his face. It had made her mad enough that when she finally found her composure, she had punched him so hard in the nose he passed out.

She helped the boys tie up the DI so when he woke, he'd be right where they left him. After an understanding nod from Cain, she joined Vanessa, Rhona, and Tracy who had been waiting just outside. She nodded her head to them, unable to meet Vanessa's eyes, and received two sighs of relief from the other two women. "The boys are going to wait for him to wake up and take care of it from here. I don't know about you ladies, but I could really use a drink," she said, unable to completely shake the sadness from her voice.

Rhona and Tracy simply nodded in response, and began heading to one of the two cars they had taken to get there. Charity went to follow, but was stopped by a gently hand tugging at her arm. When she turned around and finally lifted her head, sad but forgiving blue eyes met her green ones.

"How much of that did you hear, Vanessa?" Vanessa sighed heavily, her eyes darting to the ground in an attempt to find the right words.

"Enough. But listen, Charity, we don't have to talk about it. It's not going to change..." she started, but Charity interrupted her.

"Not going to change anything, Vanessa? You mean every time I look at you I won't see pity and sadness in your eyes? You mean I'm not forever tied to that asshole over a child that isn't even alive? You mean pretty much everyone I know is now aware of the power that man held over me and the shit that he held over me for so long? It changes everything Vanessa."

Vanessa simply stood, stunned by the fiery blonde in front of her. She had no idea what to say, or if she could even say anything. She wanted to make it better, she wanted to reassure Charity that she wasn't going anywhere, regardless of what had happened to them over the past few weeks. She simply shook her head, her eyes staring down at the muddy ground, and sighed, deciding to let it go for now and let Charity open up to her on her own terms, if she decided to at all.

"It doesn't change the fact that I really need a drink after today and you drove us all here. So either we all get stranded here, or you walk with me back to the car and take us all to the pub to drown our sorrows." She looked up then, her eyes conveying a strength and calmness Charity wasn't expecting to see. The taller woman nodded, leading them back to the car and away from whatever fate awaited the DI.

Vanessa had noticed Charity's absence in the pub quickly. As her dad, Megan, and Tracy all rejoiced over the success of their idea, she had seen a wave of long blonde hair disappear behind the door to the cellar. She quickly finished her drink, and made her excuses of a long day to her family, before following venturing down the stairs behind her girlfriend.

She had heard the sniffling immediately, and approached quietly as to not disrupt the private moment Charity seemed to be having.

"His name was Samuel, Sam for short." The voice had surprised her. She hadn't known Charity had even heard her approaching. She remained quiet, and inched forward as she continued.

"He was so tiny, I mean like tinier than most. He was premature, I think it had a lot to do with living on the streets, ya know? I wasn't even 15 and having my second child. I thought this one would be different, I suppose. Bails seemed to be genuinely interested in caring for me, I hadn't figured it out just yet. I gave birth in the back of a whorehouse. There was a lady that often "took care" of pregnancies for some of the girls that lived in one nearby. I had gone to her as soon as I felt the familiar pains. We went to the hospital later, me and him and Bails. Sam never got to leave. He was too little, too fragile, too weak. Bails blamed me for it. Started telling me how worthless of a woman I was, how unfit to live I should feel if I couldn't even do something as simple as carry a baby to full term. We had a big fight. It was that fight that led him to kicking me out, to realizing he couldn't control me. I was back out on the street for a while after that. Well, you know what happens from there I suppose."

Vanessa had managed to make her way to Charity, standing beside her close enough that she knew Charity could feel the heat from her body, but daring not to touch her as to not frighten her during her narrative.

"I can't face them now, Ness. They all know I'm broken. They all know the skeletons I've kept hidden in the closet for so long. It's never going to be the same."

Vanessa dared then to reach her hand out and rest it gently on Charity's arm, satisfied when the taller woman didn't pull away.

"Charity," she whispered, "he's a bad man, and I'm sure right now Cain, and Ross and Rob are giving him hell for not only what he was going to do to Tracy, but now for what he did to you as well.

I don't think any of this makes you weak. If anything, I think it makes who you are and how far you've come that much more amazing."

She smiles softly as Charity scoffed, knowing she was at least being listened to.

"This doesn't have to change anything if you don't want it to. It's your business and as far as I'm concerned, you're the one in control of what happens next. You're so strong, and so fierce, and so unbelievably smart, Charity. If you go out there tomorrow acting like nothing happened and that you're fine, everyone will follow your lead, they always have. If you want to talk to them about it and clear the air and then move on, you can do that to. But this is your call Charity, not anyone else's. Just know that whatever you decide, I've got your back."

She watched as Charity nodded her head slowly and gently rubbed the arm her hand was still resting on. Charity sniffled and wiped at her eyes, before slowly turning around to face her. The depths she saw in Charity's green eyes made her breath catch as she managed to smile softly at her girlfriend.

"I will never understand why you're with me and not out dating some other person that actually has their life together."

Ness smiled softly at Charity then, inching closer in the already limited space between them.

"Are you ever going to believe that I actually care for you, you daft cow?"

Charity smiled and shook her head slightly in response.

"Charity, if you never listen to another word I say, please at least hear this. I think you are the most incredible person I have ever met, okay? I am in awe of you every day you manage to get up and go about your life after what you've been through. It makes me angry that there was no one there to support you when you needed them. But I'm here now. And I know you don't know how to depend on someone, or even trust someone to stick around, but you're going to have to ACTUALLY drag me away by my hair if you ever expect me to not be around. Understood?"

Charity smiles shyly at the shorter woman, nodding her understanding, and sighing deeply. She surprises them both when she reaches forward to pull the smaller woman into a deep hug, which she reciprocates wholly.

"...mmhmmbbbbmmhbb..."is all Vanessa can make out as Charity speaks into her hair.

Vanessa chuckles lightly, as she pulls away just enough to meet bright green eyes, her thumbs caressing her girlfriend's face. "I'm afraid I didn't catch that."

"Thank you. I said thank you..." she replies softly as her eyes move away from the heat in Vanessa's. "...and that I love you."

She feels Vanessa's fingers under her chin, and lets her face be pulled up to once again have green eyes meet blue. She sighs in relief as she sees Vanessa's soft, dopey smile. "You love me, huh?" She teases gently, her smile growing to be all teeth. "Well, I guess it's a good thing I love you back, innit?"

Charity truly smiles for the first time all night, and pulls Vanessa back into a tight hug. "Yea, I suppose it really is."


End file.
